To the One Who Almost Was
To the one who almost was, you know who you are. This is by no means to bash you but to simply say "Thank You" and that I forgive you. I write this with happy tears and a happy, full heart as I reminisce on all that was. You were, and always will be a part of my life and my testimony. I think of you often, I pray for you always. Even though you were my almost, you were a lot.
You taught me things.
You taught me to see the good in myself whenever I was down. You reminded me of all the things in life that I could do and was great at. You led me to scripture that would back you up on the compliments you showered me with. You would do all of this even though you knew I would deny it. You taught me to love unconditionally, even when people have wronged me. You kept me in check with my wild attitude and unfiltered mouth. You helped me get through situations with people when you knew how they could make me feel. You taught me to always say "I'm sorry" and to not leave/go to bed without telling someone "I love you". It helped me value the people I cared about the most even more. You taught me to simply enjoy the small things in life like finding bottled Mountain Dew in a gas station store and swimming in the rain. You taught me all this and more.
You provided me with memories.
You allowed for me to attend and experience many different sporting events that I could only dream of. I experienced a win in the end zone of Death Valley in the pouring rain, an NFL game, and the beginning games of the College World Series. I will forever have memories of a week where we slept in Eno hammocks, swam in the lake, ate lots of food and pretended we could play golf well while laughing and being around people we loved. I'll remember the hike, the sunrise, the fireworks show and all the others that fell in between. You made each vacation more special than the last by bringing your sense of humor and adventure. Pictures and videos and touristy t-shirts made it all even better. The memories will last me a lifetime.
You introduced me to some of the greatest people I will ever know, of all ages.
This may be one of the best parts that you have given and left me with. The people I have met range from small children all the way to mature adults. They have taught me things, supported and encouraged me through life, made me smile and laugh when I needed it most and, most importantly, loved me through it all. They will forever live in my heart and the marks they have made will never be lost. They are the most genuine and loving people I may ever meet in my life. I don't know what I would do or where I would be without them all. It is truly an honor and blessing to have met them.
You led me to many discoveries.
On top of all the other things you have done, you have led me to many things I needed to discover and know in life. You led me to adventure; to just go and experience things no matter how crazy or different. It led to experiences that allowed me to let my hair down and go with the flow. You led me to lots of joy and laughter. You would help me find joy and laughter in the most random of things like a minion's laugh or your hilarious dance moves. You made sure that there was never a dull moment. You led me to know God on an even deeper and more personal level. You were a model to and for me as I continued on in my walk with Christ. I watched you make a difference to countless people and you led me to discover that I too have the same ability. Lastly, you led me to myself. This one didn't fully become discovered until after you were gone. You have paved the way to that place of discovery, maybe unintentionally. Once you had left, I got to take a step back and realize who I really was and what I really wanted in life. You helped lead me to truly loving myself and to love how I was created. I found an appreciation for myself that I would have not received had it not been for you. All of these discoveries have built and strengthened me and I am incredibly thankful for you and for it all.
Whitney Houston once sang these words and they couldn't express my feelings better.
"I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of
And I wish you joy and happiness,
But above all this, I wish you love.
And I will always love you."
- I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston -
If I could quote the whole song, I would. I mean those words with all my heart and I pray them for you and your life. They are not simply wishes for you, but, hopefully, realities.
You helped me discover and brought out the good that I didn't know I even had. I hope that I left just a fraction of the marks you have made on me but, even if I haven't I am still grateful for what you have done for me whether it was intentional or not. This post covers just the surface. I thank you for it all; the good AND the bad.
You almost became my forever, but you'll forever be a part of my life, always.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.